Attraction Tools for Success: Manifesting Your Intentions

There are several books now that discuss the power of thought and I have been experimenting with the concept for the past few years. I understand the concept that "like things" attract more "like things". So the more positive (or negative) I have in my life the more positive (or negative) things I attract. In addition, I was familiar with the idea that just by thinking about someone/thing, it has the habit of materializing. But I thought, was this just coincidence?

It's one thing to read and learn about these concepts, but it's another thing to experience them. One of the most profound experiences that made a true believer out of me was on a trip to Hawaii with my husband and mother during the Christmas season. It was Christmas Eve afternoon and we were driving back to our resort - a timeshare in the middle of no-where on the Big Island surrounded by black, hardened lava. As we made our way up the now familiar, winding road that was almost ½ an hour from the nearest city, I expressed my desire to go to a Christmas Eve service. Something I had been thinking about all week. I was not a regular churchgoer, but It never seemed like Christmas to me, unless I attend and sing carols at a candlelight service. By this time I expressed my wish, it was 5pm and our chauffer (my husband) wasn't really in the mood to drive back to town in search of a church.

Just as we came to the top of the hill, ½ a block from our condo (if you could call it a block since there was next to nothing surrounding the resort.) There was a little sign along the edge of the highway "Center for Positive Living, Christmas Eve Service, 7pm, All Welcome." This in itself was a miracle - as we had passed this stretch that very morning and numerous times before - and there was no indication of a sign or even a building! In addition and to my amazement, the name of the 'center' was the exact name of a church in our hometown that we had been meaning to attend for several months - but had never quite made it. Of course, we attended the service and it was abundant with carols and gifts, and it proved to be the most enjoyable service that I have ever attended.

For me, this experience solidified the power of thought. Since then, I have been playing with this idea and believe there is nothing that I can't manifest. Of course, through my travels I have learned a few ways to assist the process of manifestation along the way.

Thoughts

Thoughts are the key to manifesting. Not only do I try to think positive thoughts, I also try to eliminate negative thoughts or self-talk. This isn't always the easiest thing to do, but it got easier. The more I stuck to it, the more my life was blessed with positive things and the easier it became, and the easier it was, the more positive things that were manifested and so on.

Not only did I manifest positive things, but also I manifested what I was intending. Sometimes the manifestation didn't always appear as fast or exactly as I wanted, but, then again, sometimes the universe knows best (but that's another story.)

Affirmations

Most people have heard or used affirmations. Affirmations are just statements of a thought or intention. By stating your intentions concretely you send the message to the universe that you already have that which you want to attract. At first, I found affirmations a bit hokey, because in the back of my mind I was thinking, "this isn't true", but of course, if the statements were already true (in reality) I wouldn't need to do affirmations about them. Our mind has no distinction between reality and fantasy, so by stating our thoughts it changes their existence from inside (the mind) to outside (reality).

Some additional tips in formulating affirmations:



State them as if they were already true (even if you believe otherwise)



State them in present tense. Include your name in the statement, for example:I, Kimberly, am ?





State each affirmation at least 3 times. Once to say it, once to hear it, and lastly to integrate it.



State your affirmations often. After waking up or before going to bed is the best time of day, although you can state them anytime throughout the day if you need a reminder or pick-me-up.



Say them out loud. Put them on a tape recorder or paste them to your mirror so you hear/see them frequently.



Focus on a feeling, rather than material/physical objects. This leaves the 'what' up to the universe and often the results you intend to achieve are far greater than you could ever envision yourself.For example: I, Kimberly, feel peace within, at all times.





Intention Map

Turn your affirmations into pictures. Gather pictures, photographs, and words of things you want to manifest in your life and place them on a piece of Bristol or on a bulletin board. Hang them where you will see them everyday. Look at them frequently and imagine yourself there.

Visualizations & Meditation

Turn your affirmations or intention maps into visualizations in your mind. Imagine that the intention is already true and you are living the life you dream of. Visualize the intention and release it into the universe to be manifested.



Now that you have several tools you can use to manifest your desires, here is the trick. There can be no attachment to having the intention manifested. Of course, it's a given that you want this intention, otherwise you wouldn't have thought about it. However, you can't be attached to the result or be fixated on it happening. You have to believe it as if it were true and possible, but leave it to the universe to decide the details: when, where, how, etc. and let it come to you when the time is right. Remember everything happens for a reason.

Once you have mastered this, everything is in your reach. Don't just dream about the life you want: manifest it into reality!



By Kimberly Strachan

Any Woman Can Become a Modern Goddess and Attract Good Things With Ease

The Great Goddess may be an ancient echo in the collective unconscious of the human race, but her legacy still lives in every woman. Today's woman is rediscovering her inherent female strengths and creating a new model of feminine power: the "Modern Goddess."

The 20th century ushered in the modern era of more freedom and more rights for women. Another big push came in the 1960's and 1970's with the "Women's Liberation" movement, which helped to open up more opportunities for women to work in previously male-dominated fields.

We focused so intently on getting money and position and things that we lost sight of what it really means to be female. We forgot that men are meant to serve us. We forgot how to be gracious and serene. That is why, now that we have entered the 21st century and the next millennium, it's time for us to take another leap forward and become proud examples of the truly Modern Goddess. Cultivating the proper Goddess attitude naturally attracts good into your life. Struggle becomes a thing of the past. With the right attitude you can harness the flow of good that is your god-given right and ride it gracefully toward your desires.



The Four Pillars
The Four Pillars of the Modern Goddess are the foundation on which your new life is built. As you create and cultivate the Four Pillars in yourself, your life begins to move and change in magical and mysterious ways. To be a woman is to be an earthbound vessel for the unseen power that is the true nature of our reality. That power is meant to be honored and cherished, as is every woman on this planet. The Four Pillars give us some simple guidelines for remembering how beautiful and special each one of us is.

Pillar I: Never Rush.
A Goddess has time for everything that is important to her. She stays calm and relaxed. If you are stressed out and harried, stop and take a deep breath. You always have all the time you need if you believe you do. Learn how to say no. Don't over-commit yourself. Live life at your own pace.

Pillar II: Never Worry.
A Goddess knows that she always has everything she needs. Worry is needlessly borrowing trouble from the future. She knows that things always have a way of working themselves out if we allow them to. She has a deep and abiding faith that God is her source and she always has enough.

Pillar III: Receive Graciously.
A Goddess graciously receives all gifts and compliments with a simple, "thank you." She never belittles or criticizes herself or her accomplishments. When someone wants to give you something or help you, accept the gift with a smile. A Goddess always remembers that allowing men to assist and serve her is the gift she gives to them.

Pillar IV: Appreciate Continually.
Accept and appreciate all the good that comes to you, especially the little things. Whatever you appreciate increases. Make it a habit to say, "how usual!" whenever something good happens to you. The more you express your gratitude, the more good the universe sends your way.

How Usual
Most people react to something good happening to them as an out- of-the-ordinary event. How often have you said, "I don't believe it!" or, "that's amazing!" when you receive a delightful surprise. Words and thoughts have great power, so if your words convey to the universe that this is an unusual occurrence, it will comply. Your subconscious will make sure that "it's amazing" that anything good ever happens to you.

In our house we have adopted a more positive way of responding. My husband and I love to exclaim (often in unison), "how usual!" whenever something good happens to either of us whether it is a parking spot, a good news phone call, or a nice fat check in the mail. Receiving good is "how usual" in our life because we are in the habit of mentally creating it. Why not get into the "how usual!" habit yourself. Let the universe know that receiving good is a regular, everyday thing for you, too. "How usual!"

Today these Four Pillars are the foundation of my everyday life. They are all ingrained in me as habits of thinking and action. Not only do they make daily living a joy, they also make it possible to attract a great man who thinks the same way. It should be no surprise to you that my husband has these very same habits and beliefs. You, too, can attract wonderful people and good things into your life by adopting the Four Pillars as your own.

By Barbara Wright Abernathy

What Love and Money Have in Common

How many of us have ever felt that we've thrown our love away on some undeserving and ungrateful lover? Have you ever found yourself muttering something about an ex that included the words 'swine' and 'pearls' in among the expletives?

No, of course you wouldn't dream of turning the air blue with strong statements about hurt and disappointment. But you might well have wondered how your love could be wasted. What kind of a world is it where 'the power of love' - strange how the topic lends itself to song titles - is not paramount; where, contrary to what Beverley Knight sings, you can love in vain.

The thing is, for as long as you choose to see love as both mystery and miracle, blind passion and the magic word that sanctions our choices (including the most self-indulgent behaviours), you will believe - despite all evidence to the contrary - that 'love conquers everything'.

But just suppose that there is a Love Superhighway, just like the Wealth Superhighway. Just like the Wealth Superhighway, the Love Superhighway has 4 lanes. "It has??!", you exclaim in amazement. Yes, as of right now, it has. They are:

· Equity

· Property

· Minding Your Own Business

· Managing Your Passions

Notice that the Emotional Lottery has no more place in the Love Superhighway than the National Lottery does in the Wealth Superhighway. The point is, it's all about choosing your investments. If you choose to channel your emotional capital into company with a bad track record and poor management, for whatever reason, the chances are you'll lose it.

But does that mean your love was in vain, or was it more an attempt at alchemy - and control? Were you using your emotional capital to try and make a poor bet into a blue chip relationship? There's nothing wrong with playing the Emotional Lottery; provided you know that's what you're doing.

So back to the 4 lanes of the Emotional Superhighway.

Equity is the capital you invest in the relationship. For your capital to grow, not only do you have to invest it well in the first place, but if keep yanking it out on a whim, you'll end up making big losses.

Property When you enter into a relationship, you both bring emotional property to the table; anything from a scuzzy terrace to a glorious mansion. From these beginnings you can develop a shared portfolio? or not. And you can maintain and refurbish the property as necessary? or let it run down.

Minding your own business means maintaining your own boundaries and respecting your partner's otherness. Ok, it may be much easier to mind your partner's business - all of the fun and none of the responsibility - but it will put huge strain on interpersonal relations.

Managing your own passions is simply the grown up alternative to dumping bad feelings on your partner. 'I'll make myself feel better, by getting you to feel worse' is every bit as good a strategy as running up credit card debt to buy a Chanel handbag.

In the end, you could argue that your relationship is a vehicle with you in the driving seat. The choices you make determine whether you drive an old banger that isn't roadworthy or whether you glide down the freeway in a glorious high powered saloon.

By Annie Kaszina

How To Make Your Dreams Come True

Editors Note: Family Circle Interview (2003) with Dr. Wayne Dyer:

Could 2003 be your lucky year - the one in which you fulfill a dream, improve your health, increase prosperity and feel happier?

Absolutely, says bestselling author Wayne Dyer, whose latest book is 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace (Hay House). Dyer believes that positive thinking and a spiritual connection can lead to dramatic improvements in anyone's life.

He also insists that changing your thoughts and attitudes really can lead to making your most impossible dreams come true. All you need is a burning desire and an unwavering vision of what will eventually materialize.

In a talk with Family Circle, Dyer explains how to create a new contract with yourself that will enable you to make of your life everything you want it to be.

Family Circle: How do you make 2003 the year for a personal transformation?

Dyer: First look at any disharmony or scarcity in your life - your finances, struggles, even some health problems - and say: I created this. My life is the result of the choices I've made. What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds.

Family Circle: Is that New Age psychobabble or does it really work?

Dyer: It may sound like psychobabble, but in fact, we become what we think about. William James, the father of psychology, said that if you form a picture in your mind of what you would like to be, and you hold it there long enough, it will become a reality. I've found that has worked for me.

Family Circle: Give an example.

Dyer: When I wrote my first book, Your Erroneous Zones, there was nothing I wouldn't do to make it a success. I called bookstores to create a demand, then delivered the books to the stores myself! I always say it's never crowded along the extra mile.

Family Circle: But what if your life isn't changing in the ways that you want it to?

Dyer: Realize that insanity is repeating the same thoughts and behaviors again and again, and expecting different results. To get a new outcome, you have to rewrite your agreement with reality, which I do regularly.

Family Circle: What do you mean?

Dyer: You have to compose a brand-new agreement with yourself that says: There is nothing that is not possible for me. I can attract abundance into my life. Connect with that thought. Norman Vincent Peale said, "Change your thoughts and you change your world."

Family Circle: So if you want to lose 10 pounds . . .

Dyer: First visualize yourself looking the way you want to and never let that picture out of your head. Envision yourself eating healthful foods and exercising. If you hold those thoughts in your mind, you'll act on them.

Family Circle: So what happens when you focus on all the things that you don't have?

Dyer: You stay stuck. Every thought you have either makes you stronger or weaker. Thoughts of kindness, hope, forgiveness, and peace are strengthening. Anger, anxiety, worry, and fear weaken you. You must process events in terms of appreciation rather than depreciation. You either feel that the universe is plentiful and providing, or you feel short-changed, that nothing is ever right. That's what I call a scarcity mentality - expecting that things won't work out for you. I was recently on a plane that was running 30 minutes late. The woman sitting next to me said, "With my luck, I won't make my connection." I answered, "With my luck, I will!" I think she may still be in Dallas. Family Circle: How can you reprogram yourself?

Dyer: Before you go to bed, create an image of what you want for yourself; then act as if you are who you want to be. Catch yourself verbalizing self-defeating thoughts, stop labeling yourself, and take time just to be.

Family Circle: And how do you do all that?

Dyer: You quiet your mind. On average, a person has 60,000 separate thoughts a day. We're thinking too much! As an ancient proverb says, "It's the silence between the notes that makes the music." So get quiet. Meditate; go for a walk; listen to the birds, the ocean. Breathe in the fresh air and allow your mind to let go.

Family Circle: can just hear workaholics saying they don't have the time to do that.

Dyer: If you don't take time for being healthy, you'll eventually have to make time for being sick. You can meditate for two minutes at a red light. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and clear your mind. The person behind you will let you know when your two minutes are up!

Family Circle: What are the signs of inner peace?

Dyer: People who have a sense of peace tend to smile, feel compassion, and enjoy the moment. They lose interest in conflict, and they don't worry!

Family Circle: You often say, "Stop worrying because there's nothing to worry about." How can that be?

Dyer: It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.

Family Circle: So the next time you're tossing and turning in bed . . . ?

Dyer: My teacher in India always said, "First think of God, whatever God means to you. Think of the universal force that allows an acorn to turn into an oak tree or a blossom to become an orange." The moment you bring spiritual energy to the present, worry and anguish dissolve.

Family Circle: Other than yourself, do you know anyone who has mastered this?

Dyer: I don't know that I have! I've got eight kids and I struggle with the same things most people do. I've dealt with marital problems and addictions. What I've learned is to remind myself that all I have is today. That helps me shift my attention to what's good and right.

Family Circle: You always say that forgiveness is a dramatic way to transform a life. Forgiving your father for abandoning his family was a turning point for you.

Dyer: After he died, I went to my father's grave and told him, I don't know what motivated you to run your life as you did, but I forgive you. Afterward I felt a deep sense of relief and peace. Forgiveness is transforming. I use the metaphor of the snake bite. It is not the bit that kills you; it's the venom. When you hold a grudge, the poisons of anger and blame destroy you. Your heart weakens, your blood pressure rises, you get ulcers. It wrecks your health, makes you miserable.

Family Circle: And when you forgive . . .

Dyer: . . . miracles begin to appear in your life because forgiveness heals. It's the core of every great spiritual teaching - from Jesus and Buddha to Gandhi and Mother Teresa.

Family Circle: You also recommend the art of detachment, calling it "one of life's great lessons." What do you mean?

Dyer: I mean detach from the opinions of others; from the habit of judging or controlling others; from the past; from the need to be right and to win; from an obsession with material things. Follow your passion in life, but detach from the outcome and allow the universe to handle the details.

Family Circle: So, as we usher in 2003, what would you say is the key to achieving happiness?

Dyer: When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way. That's what life is. There's no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. It's what you bring to life.

*Excerpted from Family Circle/January 14, 2003 issue


Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Giving Thanks - A Universal Gift

In the USA we celebrate Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday in November every year. However, I've come to understand that there is great, POSITIVE power in having an "attitude of gratitude" all year long, that can create measurable differences in your life.

No matter where in the world you call home, and whether you traditionally take a day to celebrate the idea of giving thanks, or not -- let this be a reminder to stop and really take the time to count your blessings.

Counting your blessings and taking time to appreciate the special people in your life can be done any time, any place, at no financial expense... and it's truly a gift to yourself, as well as to those you thank.

That's because, simply, what you focus on grows! As a result, you begin to experience even more to be grateful for in your life!

In fact, a daily practice of writing your gratitude lists can literally create miracles for you, as your mood is consistently lifted by the wonderful, energized feelings you generate, by your powerful decision to CHOOSE your own thoughts, concentrating on realizing just how much you already have to feel thankful for!

I would also suggest that you keep these lists in a special notebook or computer file, and not share them with anybody. I've learned that until our dreams are actually manifested, it's best to either keep them and our gratitude lists to ourselves or ONLY shared with those whom we can utterly trust to add SUPPORTIVE energy to our gratitude and dreams. Otherwise we may create an "energy leak" that will deflate our efforts. Keep your gratitude lists sacred, and build up their energy by prizing them as you would a treasure... each day as you add to your "energy bank" of gratitude, the potency of your lists will grow!

Taking the time out of your busy schedule to make your gratitude lists on a regular basis, and making the effort to express your gratitude OFTEN to the special people in your life, is a gift that can be given freely to yourself and to those you care for. And, your heartfelt words of appreciation are often MORE precious and long-cherished by the receiver than even the most expensive purchased gift could ever be!

By Laurie Kristensen

How to Be Irresistible to Women

You don't need a guitar, rock-hard abs, or even a full head of hair to make a great impression on a woman. Follow these tips, and she'll want to hear from you again real soon:

1. Go out with another woman. If you're going out to a club or a bar, take a female friend or your sister with you. Women are often more amenable to talking to men who are with other women. It gives them the feeling that you actually like women, and that's attractive. If your female friend is outgoing, see if she'll make small talk with somebody you'd like to meet. She can say something along the lines of, "I love your necklace!" and that should do it. After a little back-and-forth, your friend can say, "Oh, how rude of me. This is my friend Andy," and you're in business.

2. Look women in the eye. It seems elementary, but you'd be surprised at how many guys either undress a woman with their eyes or avoid eye contact altogether. Women love it when you look them in the eye.

3. Don't try to "buy" her. If you buy her a drink, she is obligated to say thank you and that's it. If she accepts the drink, the polite thing for her to do would be to spend a little time talking to you, but that's all. On the other hand, if a woman takes the drink and walks away, let her go. You wouldn't want spend time with her, anyway. Trust me.

4. Find out her interests. Get her talking about what she's crazy about, whether it's David Bowie or the New York Mets. If you don't get it, you can say something like, "You know, I'm not too familiar with Bowie. What CD would you recommend?" Or, "I'm more into football than baseball. What is it about baseball that you like?" Ask a woman her opinion, and you'll have her eating out of your hand (we have more in common with guys than you think).

5. Listen more, talk less. Hey, I'm not suggesting that you let her do all the talking, but some guys meet a woman and then never shut up. Don't try to impress her! Don't brag about your GPA at Harvard, the Jag in your driveway, or the fact that you're CEO of a tuna fish conglomerate. You'll get precisely the kind of woman you don't want, the one who's only into you for your achievements and possessions, rather than for who you really are. Instead, ask questions and listen for the answers. Give your opinions. Get to know the woman. Let her get to know you.

6. Be optimistic. In other words, this is no time to discuss how oil prices are going through the roof, what a witch your ex-girlfriend was, or that your parents never gave you enough attention. If you run out of things to talk about, ask her if she's seen the latest hit at the box office.

7. Be chaste. Do not try to go to bed with a woman right away. Sure, there's a chance that if you go for it, she will, but if you're hoping for a lasting relationship, you set up all sorts of weirdness if you "do it" too soon. Crazy as it sounds, if she sleeps with you, she may not respect you in the morning (you didn't know that, did you?). She'll figure that you get into bed with every woman you meet, which pretty much rules you out as boyfriend material. (Or she may be the type who thinks you owe her because she slept with you, which makes her really bad girlfriend material.) Save yourself undue angst and get to know a person before you go to bed with her.

8. Make a great exit. If you want to see her again, ask for her number (preface this with something casual, "Maybe we can get together some time."). Then touch her shoulder (a little restraint is sexier here; don't try to kiss her) and tell her you'll be in touch. Then leave. If your friends aren't ready to go yet, tell her you have to hang out with them. Walk away. The key here is to keep her wanting more.

9. Call her. If you said you were going to call, you can avoid looking desperate by waiting two days, but no longer. A plea on behalf of the female sex: If you're not interested in a woman, do not-I repeat-do not say you'll call. Say, "Nice meeting you," and be on your way. Besides, collecting numbers to feed your ego is kind of sad.

10. Treat women as you'd have them treat you. The media have brainwashed us to believe that men come and women come different planets, but we're all human. Some of the biggest losers in love are women who complain that all men are the same, they all want one thing, and so on. But it's equally sad when a guy assumes all women are like his mother or his psychopathic ex-girlfriend. You'll enjoy astonishing success with women if you understand two simple facts: We're people. We're more like you than you think.

By Terry Hernon MacDonald

A Lesson in Letting Go

Do you hear yourself saying?

When I have enough money, I'll... When I go on vacation, I'll... As soon as I find the right partner, I'll... When the house is clean, I'll be able to... When I can afford a better car, I'll... When this project is over, I'll... As soon as I get more clients, I'll... I can't leave work, or I'll... When my kids are grown and moved out,I'll...

How much of your life do you put on hold?

During coaching sessions, people share their "I'll's" with me all the time. The most popular justifications are that they are waiting waiting for the money or the time to magically open up.

Tracking the reasons over a ten year period and finding the bottom line truth, people aren't hungry enough to do what it takes to find or create the money.

I'm sure you have accomplished many things in your life without money. Thus, why would you believe that these I'll can't be on that list as well?

There are five elements involved with achieving prosperity. Money only one of them. Energy (sometimes mislabelled as power), love, time and success are the other four.

Belief underlies this whole process. The belief that you need money to accomplish whatever is on your list. The belief that there are no other options. And so many more. What are your beliefs that are placing your "I'll's" on your hold list?

And excellent question. However, until you are aware of what's on the list, and they are a true want, you don't open up your vision to their possibilities.

The biggest time I was aware of this in my life was some years back when my father was very ill. He said to me, "Go after your dream, don't wait for anything." I'm sure you've heard that as well somewhere in your life.

Discussing that further with him, I realized that I didn't know what I wanted. So I thought. I soon realized that that wasn't it at all. I just didn't believe it was possible to "really" live the way I wanted. Since then, I travelled for a year all over the world, attending and teaching at conferences, attending universities, and even personally studying with well-known writers.

And how it all came about was still an awesome miracle to me. Most of the adventure paid for by someone else, or an organization. But I had to take risks, at least they were big risks to me. Sometimes I didn't know how I was going to get there or back, where I was going to sleep, or what to do in between destinations. In every situation, every instance, things appeared that still leave me spell bound.

And it all began with a little trust and belief. Since this time other amazing adventures appeared, including studying with some of the most amazing people in the world.

Can this happen for you? You bet it can. Dr. Wayne Dyer, Donald Walsh, and Deepak Chopra, three I now call friends, tell you all about it in their books and lectures as well.

What underlies all this? One thing -- our belief system. If you believe you must have money in order to do something, then you will need to. You closed the window to possibilities. If you need all the answers before you start, you will get exactly that, waiting on all the answers to appear.

Have you given up on one of your "I'lls"?

As children, we don't understand adult situations. We hear this and that and when there are gaps, we toss in whatever is available from our warehouse of experiences. We usually carry this learning experience until we seniors. And there is an awakening when we realize there are less years ahead than behind. A new wisdom emerges.

Until...you...

1. Ask new questions when these beliefs saboteur your success. This is examining that belief. When this occurs, it is important to ask these valuable questions:

(1) What is the belief? You need to name it to claim it. Many times, we don't want to own that belief -- we avoid the ownership. This denial dances around until we can no longer stay behind the way. Until it gets bad enough... we're broke, eating our loneliness away, and other destructive habits. Learn to name it, this automatically starts the change, then take it one step at a time from that point. Don't look jump the ocean. Stick your toe in the water. It's cold water and you need to get used to it a little at a time. Give it daily conscious thought. Just by doing this alone, you build the boat that will cross the ocean.

(2) Does the belief serve me any longer? Did the belief serve you when you were a teenager, and now you are 55? Adjust it for the age.

(3) Who says the belief needs to be this way? What gives them the right to say this? Are they just transferring their own belief to you? Don't be willing to accept it. Form your own. Give it some space.

(4) Who will be upset if you change this belief? The fear of losing someone, confronting someone on their beliefs is nerve wracking to most people. Do you really need to confront them on it? No. Do you need to tell them they are wrong? No. Do you need to let it go and form your own? Yes.

Take more leaps of faith!

Change your beliefs, every single one that isn't current serving you. Stop, I'll'ing...or when'ing.

It takes space to open up and invite abundance and prosperity into your life. If you life is too full with excuses, what ifs, or someday you'll, there isn't any room.

Invest in yourself today and every day of your life, not just your money.

Invest in your own energy, your personal power, your love for yourself and others, your time, and your success.

The payoff is the biggest in the world...happiness... living your life now and not later.

Be brave, not much, just a little. Take a leap of faith purposely every day for the next week. When it works, continue the process. One toe at a time.

Create the new space needed to invite abundance in. Go ahead, go in. The waters fine. Stop waiting for the eclipse marks to stop. They stop when you take the leap!

By Catherine Franz

Opportunity Will Knock, If It Can Find The Door

Is your home office a spare room full of whatever doesn't fit anywhere else? Does your daily commute end with winding your way through a corporate maze to your own crowded cubicle? Do you sit down at your desk and push piles of papers aside to create a little workspace?

If this sounds familiar, and you know that your productivity is suffering, maybe you want to try a little feng shui in your workspace.

Feng shui (pronounced "fung schway") is the ancient art of placement and design that balances and enhances the energy flow in an environment. This can be placement of a home on a piece of property, location of an office building on a city block, orientation of rooms in a house, arrangement of furniture in a room or objects on a desk.

For a complete feng shui evaluation, you need to consult with a professional. It's far too complex to address completely in an article. I'll just give you a few examples of techniques you can try so you can see if feng shui is for you.

In any situation, there will obviously be believers and non-believers, and this is true of co-workers as well as spouses. To effect change in the corporate environment or at home, you have to start with yourself, and realistically this may be all you can accomplish.

At the center of this belief system is a powerful reality that you need to be able to embrace: There is an energy flow that BRINGS abundance to all of life. Using feng shui to attract things to you means removing blockages and enhancing this natural flow. This doesn't mean you only need to move the furniture around and then sit back and wait for the money to arrive; it removes the suffering and struggle and leaves you working from a place of peace at the center of your being.

Clutter is stagnant energy that leaves no room for growth. The tendency to save things because "someday you might need them" indicates a lack of belief in the energy flow that brings abundance to you. Your message to the universe is that you don't trust that it will provide for you. The flow stops.

This energy flow, called ch'i ("chee"), enters through the front door of any building or room and is then dispersed. It also enters through windows. It exits through doors and windows too. During the day, it enters through windows, at night it exits, hence a reason to close curtains. Think of it as air or water flow; it's like that.

If you want more opportunity in your work environment, make sure the path to the door is as wide as the door. This goes for paths, hallways and outer rooms. The easiest way to attract ch'i is to get rid of clutter; no toys scattered on paths to the house, no shoes strewn in the middle of the hallway or piles of boxes between the world and your desk.

If the ch'i entering through your door immediately meets a wall, you can compensate with mirrors. If the ch'i enters and there are windows directly opposite, it enters and leaves again quickly. A partition or some other object, or even curtains, can slow or diffuse the flow.

Next is the orientation of your desk within the office space, and placement of objects in the room and on the desk. When you enter your office, stop and face the interior. Divide your office into 9 equal-sized areas. Each area represents an area of your life, and also relates to a color and an element. The front three, from left to right, are skills/knowledge/wisdom; career/life path; and helpful people/travel. The middle three are family/foundation; health; and creativity/children. The back three are abundance/prosperity; reputation/fame; and relationships/love/marriage.

The idea is to locate your desk, if possible, in the area "where you work". Are you an artist or an teacher? A travel agent or a marriage counselor? A banker or a work at home entrepreneur? A few rules of thumb:

1) Never put your desk directly in front of the door, and don't orient it so your back is to the door. Either face the door directly or so you can see the door without turning.

2) Place things in each section of the room that enhance the meaning of that area of your life. For example, the obvious choice for the knowledge area is books relating to your work. A not so obvious addition would be an empty vessel, symbolizing openness to new knowledge. In the career area might be milestones of your career such as diplomas or awards, or business cards and brochures, etc. Your phone, rolodex, and photo of your mentor might be in the helpful people area.

Family would be photos, or maybe religious objects if your foundation is your faith; the health area stays open and uncluttered; and something you've created is placed in the creativity area.

Water is a universal symbol of abundance, so an aquarium, fountain, or even a picture of a waterfall would be appropriate. The reputation area would contain whatever you would like to be known for. The relationship area would contain momentos of loved ones, or symbols of love. You can put pairs of objects in this area: two roses, two photos or photos of pairs of friends.

3) Do the same with the arrangement of objects on your desk. Use the same areas, but keep it simple. Balance out the presence of electronic equipment with a plant or bouquet.

You can also enhance a particular area with color. There are colors that soothe (blue/greens), stimulate (reds), invite collaboration and social gatherings (oranges and browns), enhance mental activity (yellows), suggest oppulence and abundance (purples, maroons, reds). There is an element and color associated with each area also, but that is way too much to get into here.

Bottom line, though, is that your office has to feel good to YOU. Follow your instincts and you'll create a more productive, abundant space.

By Glenn Beach

Respect Is A Four-Letter Word

One of the most important needs for every human being is the need to be respected. It doesn't matter if you or anyone else is a corporate executive, host of your own television show, short-order cook, Wal-Mart greeter or stay-at-home parent. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect regardless of occupation, gender or social status.

If you want to succeed in your chosen profession, create a loving family environment, improve a relationship, find your soul mate, or just improve the quality of your personal life, make a conscious commitment to practice showing respect in everything you do and everything you say.

Respect is the by-product of a four-letter word ? L-O-V-E

Love is one emotion, however we express it on different levels for different people. We love our significant others, children, friends, co-workers, and parents in different ways, yet we still love them.

Respect plays a HUGE role in building people's self esteem, increasing energy levels, motivating and promoting well-being. Regardless of who we interact with, it can be expressed on one level alone and does not have to be tailored to suit the relationship.

Respect can be demonstrated in a variety of ways:

- attentive listening

- referring to a person by name

- being courteous and polite

- learning the person's values and beliefs so as not to offend with inappropriate or offensive remarks

- taking the person aside when need be to discuss matters that would offend or demean if handled publicly

- eliminating offensive language and profanity from your vocabulary

By treating others with respect, you will be amazed by how they will go out of their way to support you. Like-minded individuals will be drawn to you and you will be treated with the same respect you show to others.

By showing respect you are silently communicating, "You Matter" and although you may not see an immediate impact, you are making a positive difference and will be rewarded for your kindness through universal reciprocation.

As you start this week, make a conscious effort to show respect to every soul you encounter, even the gnarly lady at the fruit stand and the cranky bus driver. Learn people's names and show a genuine interest in them. Wish them a good day and thank them for their efforts.

By Laurie Hayes

Ten Ways to Add Abundance To Your Mind, Your Life & Your World

Abundance isn't something you find from the outside. Abundance begins within and radiates outward. Find the ways that increase your abundance inside. Add time to your day, simplify, or make a difference in the world. Gratitude multiplies. Find something in these ten ways to add abundance to your life and enjoy the positive results it will attract.

1. Step up and become a world peacemaker. Volunteer to help keep peace in the world. Yes, even one hour this year will make a difference. Think about it -- if 2,000 people volunteered just one hour, that 2,000 hours that peace is closer in the world. It is like interest, it compounds. You can and do make a difference. Visit The 1,000 Years of Peace Project (http://www.pledgepeace.org/) and pledge just one hour in 2004 towards peace!

2. Be a blood donor. Never done it before or not sure that they want your blood. It takes just a few minutes by phone or visiting their web site to find out. Scared of needles, I was, let their experience walk you through the fear. Celebrate your freedom from the fear afterwards. Go with some friends or co-workers to support you. Visit AABA at: http://www.aabb.org/Locator/Locator.asp to find out more.

3. Volunteer somewhere this year. Did you know that most employers encourage volunteering and will give time off to do so during business hours? Not sure, ask them. Organize an office group of volunteers. Visit Volunteer Match at: http://www.volunteermatch.org/ to find the right place for you to volunteer.

4. Attend the religious ceremony of at least one different faith to observe how others connect with the Divine. Not into religion, that is okay. Expand your mind by attending different events or faiths. You do not need to join, just learn and expand your horizons. We have more similarities than differences. It is when we see those similarities that we learn our connections.

5. Take 30 minutes a day and connect with your higher self and spirit. Whether it is in meditation, sitting quietly and listening, or in prayer.

6. Eliminate any outside influences that don't feed your soul or life purpose. If you are challenged to let it go permanently, give it up temporarily for 30 days. Whether it is the newspaper, TV news, or books that you are reading that are "shoulds" instead of "wants." Revisit with what you are letting in. In exchange, abundance will have more space to enter. Fill your day with only positive people, things, and information. The Information Gurus have a saying, "GIGO" Garbage in, garbage out.

7. Look beyond the either/or decisions in life. Open the door and let the possibilities and options in. Don't be boxed in, just know there are other options, invite them in. Abundance appears when it is invited.

8. Ever wondered how much "nature" your lifestyle requires? Take the Ecological Footprint Quiz at http://www.myfootprint.org/. The Quiz estimates how much productive land and water you need to support what you use and discard. All this in 15 quick and easy questions. What footprint are you leaving on this planet and how does it compare to others? Great revelation on what you are leaving behind.

9. Magnify abundance by simplifying your life. Visit Simple Living at: http://www.simpleliving.net/ and find thousands of topics and great tools on how to simplify all areas of life. You will also find study groups to support you on your journey.

10. Have you written your own Personal Mission Statement? Visit this f*r*e*e easy-to-use online Mission Statement Builder by Franklin Covey to create one: http://www.franklincovey.com/missionbuilder/ Gain space to add abundance by reducing stress and increasing your focus on where you want to go. Post your statement on the bathroom mirror. It makes saying no easier the rest of the day.

By Catherine Franz.

The Law of Attraction in Action

Would you like to be able to experience more of what brings you joy in your life? Do you have unmet wants and desires that have left you feeling unfulfilled in some areas of your life? Were you taught that it is our desires that make us unhappy? Whoever taught us that desire is a bad thing was an unempowered person!

Desire is a beautiful thing! It is desire that birthed this world, and it is desire that draws us together to create new life, both physically and metaphysically.

Imagine for a moment that you have a genie in a bottle, or a secret potion or wand that, that gives you the power to zap into being more of what you wish for. The truth is, it doesn't take a genie in a bottle, a magic wand or a secret potion, although these are fun 'reminders' of the awesome power that we hold! We are Divine Beings!

The Bible says we are made "in the image of God" and that "what we reap we sowed." This means we, like God, are creators! I've heard it said that God helps those who help themselves. We must learn how to help ourselves by co-creating, along with God, that which we desire by developing faith and applying focused thought. The best way to pray then is affirmatively, to visualize what we desire as if it is already in our experience, and to give thanks in advance, knowing that what we need and desire is available to us. To pray effectively, we pray affirmatively. A powerful prayer is one of gratitude. The more we count our blessings, the more blessings come to us. Our thoughts and prayers really do create our experiences!

Another way of saying this is to use creative visualization. Creative visualization is the technique of using our imagination to create more of what we want in life. I've heard some people say, "I can't do that, I don't visualize anything!" There is nothing woo woo about it. You are already using visualization techniques every day - every time you think about what to have for lunch or what you might want to do over the weekend, or even while remembering a special person in your life, you are using your creative imagination! Visualization is the basic creative energy of the universe, which we use constantly, whether or not we aware of it. When we aren't aware it is called creating by default. When we are setting conscious intentions, we are deliberately co-creating with God, or the Universe.

You may have heard the saying, "Thoughts are things." Our thoughts, beliefs and feelings are real! They are alive with the spiritual substance that makes up this world. Our thoughts are energized and powerful. Everything we experience in "reality" has its beginnings in the non-physical. Every thought we think is a seed and every time we think the same thought over again, we water that seed. When we think thoughts filled with emotion, we fertilize those thoughts. The more intense our desire, and the degree to which we believe it is possible, the more likely it is to come into our experience and the faster it will manifest. The law of the soil and the law of the mind are the same.

The world is filled with evidence that supports our beliefs. In other words, optimists are confirmed in their optimism, and pessimists are confirmed in their habits of thought also. An optimist expects things to work out somehow, and because they give their attention to what they do want with expectancy, this is what manifests in their experience. The pessimist, on the other hand, generally also creates what they habitually worry about. When pessimists learn how to alter their expectations and beliefs, they too can more deliberately create what they are wanting in life.

I truly believe that everything works towards our highest good, we just need to trust the Universal Laws working through us and use our experiences to expand our consciousness. Let's use the Law of Attraction to make the world a more joyful and loving place!

"If you could begin to feel appreciation for the fact that desire exists and anticipation about its unfolding, rather than disappointment that it has not manifested, your energy would clear up by 95% and your manifestations would begin to flow to you so much more easily." --Abraham-Hicks

By Diana Kennedy

The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship

He's your good friend. She's your best confidant. You have known each other for a few years and have shared meals, movies, hobbies and vacations. You have confided to each other about your latest love interest and turned to one another for support when the relationship(s) failed. You can't imagine life without your good friend.

But for a while....

You've felt jealous of his dates. You've been overprotective of her since she has been seeing the jerk. You've been having very strong feelings of attraction and a desire for something more than friendship. Could it be that your feelings for him/her have grown into something more? If so, your relationship may have developed into a "friend crush".

You don't know what to do. You know you want to continue spending time together- more time. But it's getting hard. You fantasize about having more with this person and are beginning to feel like a jealous would-be partner. Do you pretend everything is the same? Do you start distancing yourself- hoping your feelings will go back to the way they were? Do you actually TALK directly and honestly with your friend about how you feel?

What will happen to the relationship if you make the WRONG choice?

Just as all people are unique, so are the characteristics of their relationships with others. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this increasingly common dilemma. So, let's take a look at your options. You can:

* ignore your feelings, keep your boundaries in check and pretend everything is status quo

In order to choose this option, you must be able to deny your feelings so well that even you don't know what they are. You will also have to continue being comfortable on the sidelines while someone else has the relationship with this person that you desire. You will most likely be asked what you think of this or that person and be expected to be happy and supportive of your friend when they meet the right someone for them. In return for all this, you will still have your friend.

* begin to spend less time with your friend (crush) while seeking out new friendships to pursue and strengthen

This option will most likely cause confusion and hurt on the part of your friend who will wonder what happened. They may be understanding and accepting of your need to spread your wings and support you in doing what you need to do. Either way, you will see less of them and your relationship can weaken and perhaps disappear altogether as they move on with new people. If you can distance yourself for a while and no longer feel the romantic butterflies, you can always give them a call and may be able to pick up somewhere near where you left off.

* continue the relationship with your own hidden agendas - a desire for romantic intimacy and the hope that the person will realize that they feel the same way

If they become involved with someone else in the meantime, you can work to sabotage their new relationship or you can leave them wondering where all your anger and hurt feelings are coming from. You can spend a lot of time and energy handling it this way, without anything to show for your efforts but the loss of a good friend.

* have an open and honest discussion with your friend regarding your new feelings for them

This is the choice that seems to be the hardest for folks to make. Often what I hear from people in this position is that they fear "ruining the friendship" if they discuss their feelings honestly. While this is a very understandable concern, it isn't well thought out. It is emotional, not rational. Look again at the other options. Every one will bring about a change in your current friendship.

Why?

Once your feelings have changed, so does the relationship. Ignoring them, hiding them or distancing yourself will lessen your closeness and the positive dynamics that flow between good friends. You can't go back. You need to decide how you want to move forward or if this is an option for you. . It is also possible in choosing this option that you will learn that they have similar feelings for you that they were afraid to reveal. Therefore choosing this option could result in romance and a love relationship based on true friendship.

Intimacy exists in all close relationships. It is the ability to be completely open and vulnerable to another without fear of harm or rejection. So, by definition, we cannot be intimate with another while hiding or denying our true feelings and needs to them.

The choice will always be yours. Choosing wisely is about really knowing the options, the consequences they bring and what will be best for you and your friend.

By Toni Coleman

Women and Bad Boys: What Is The Attraction?

"Bad Boys".

If you're a woman, you may be saying "hmmm" as you hear these words. You know you shouldn't, but you just can't help yourself.

There is just SOMETHING about these guys that draws you in, even as your head tells you to "beware"!

So, what exactly is the attraction? It's not necessarily that they are more physically attractive or smarter or more successful than the "nice guys". In fact, they can have fewer of these qualities, yet be harder to resist.

So what is it? Let's begin by defining these guys. This term is generally applied to males who treat women poorly. Do these behaviors ring a bell?

*calling at 8:30 on a Saturday night to ask if you want to get together

*not showing up for a date- followed by no phone call or apology

*never having any money when you are out

* forgetting or ignoring your birthday and other important dates

*flirting openly with other women when you are together

*hitting on your good friend(s)

*making booty calls at 1am, after they've had a night out with others

*is doing time for a serious felony

Instead of asking "what is it about these guys"; let's instead examine what it is about the women who can't resist them. The following are actual statements from women who have a history of attraction to these guys. See if any of these sound familiar.

* "It's never BORING with him. He's unpredictable and exciting."

* "He's strong, aggressive and self-assured; I feel safe with him."

* "It's not his fault; he's trying to get his life together."

* "I haven't met anyone else that makes me feel the way he does."

* "He's so charming and passionate."

* "He tells me how much he likes me, so he must really feel something for me."

* "He needs me."

* "He doesn't come across as needy and desperate."

* "I can't believe I've attracted someone like him."

Now, on the face of these, they seem pretty benign. We all seek at least some of these traits in the men we choose. So, where's the problem?

Essentially it's in his inability to meet the woman's fundamental needs. She is the one doing all (or most) of the giving. The question then lies in; "what's in it for her?"

The answer can be found by exploring three basic issues:

*level of self-esteem

*capacity for intimacy

*roles that she has been in throughout her life

If a woman feels good about herself, she chooses a mate who communicates both verbally and non-verbally to her that she is valued and respected. She won't allow this other person to undermine her positive self-worth. She believes in her ability to participate in a healthy, reciprocal relationship.

If she doesn't feel good about herself, she chooses someone who reinforces her negative self-beliefs.

If a woman is capable of true intimacy, she is open to the true availability of the other person. She wants him to be a full and active participant in the relationship. She can allow herself to be open, vulnerable and able to take as well as to receive all that true intimacy offers.

If intimacy is difficult, she choose someone who is distant, hard to connect with and not emotionally and/or physically available.

If a woman has had a healthy role in her relationships since childhood, she will choose someone with whom she can continue this healthy interaction.

If a woman has been too long in the role of rescuer, caregiver or the one who sacrifices for the good of others, this will probably be the role she will seek out in her relationships.

Fortunately, most women fall somewhere in between on these issues. So the task is to evaluate yourself in each area and decide on a course of action that will help you to choose a "nice guy", who stirs your senses and meets your needs while being truly available for a real relationship.

Begin with an assessment of what you value most in life and cannot live without.

Go to http://www.consum-mate.com/newslets/02oct.htm for an article on "clarifying and living your values".

Once you know what is most important to you and believe that you are worthy of achieving it, you will have taken a giant step towards finding the right partner for you.

By Toni Coleman, MSW

When You Attract Negative People, Be Thankful

Laws of Attraction are clearly defined. What comes back is a reflection of the energy you are radiating. If negative people are being attracted to you, then be self-assured that you are sending out energy that appeared on their radar screen.

Instead of focusing on not trying to attract them. Be thankful you are.

Okay, you say, that might be pushing it a little. Not really. You see, whatever you are attracting is giving you a clear projection of the energy that you are giving off. Or it could be something that you need to heal first in order to clear your energy. Most times, we could not see how we are radiating without this attraction.

The answer is awareness. The key is seeing it quickly so that their negative energy doesn't change or shift your energy and pull you down along with it. However, it's best not to leave until you have a sense of what is showing up. Yet, sometimes, that isn't possible until hindsight mode.

An excellent example of this occurred to me just this week. A quick background in case you don't know me -- I'm very careful of my energy and have practiced the laws. I am also a master practitioner and move with the laws 24/7 which took years to master. Something I'm very proud of and very aware of.

Well, anyway, moving forward to the illustration.

Eating dinner at my favorite restaurant, sitting there writing after a good meal, just finished a marketing story for one of my syndicated columns. Before leaving I thought I would duck into the ladies room. I was sitting on the john -- oops, maybe too much information (TMI) -- when I heard this lady talking to me from the other stall. Actually feeling awkward and caught unaware, it took a few minutes before I could really make out what she was saying. By then, I was walking towards the sink to wash my hands. It wasn't until then did I get the gist of her story, language and negativity. It was a victim story about how the world is out to get her. Let me spare you the details. I know you've heard this before and can easily relate to the energy heaviness created in the room.

I smiled and commented about I enjoy coming to the restaurant. She was too much into her story to hear anything but herself. Yet, she wasn't even hearing herself, I believe. She followed me back to my table and stood over me as I sat down. A few more minutes of this and trying to ignore her and because I was ready to leave anyway, I got up to leave. She walked back to her table and sat. This time I walked to her table and towered over her.

I continued to listen, not getting a word in edge wise for another five minutes or so. I smiled and nodded sideways repeatedly in disagreement. She never paid attention. Finally, I held up my hand in a stop-sign format. This caused a pause. With a deep sigh of thank goodness, I remarked, "I've listened to your story and would like to share with you -- you are attracting exactly what you don't want because that is exactly what you want. Everything that has occurred has been what you have asked for. If you want to change what you are attracting, start by seeing and making new choices. This and only this will change what occurs in your life."

As you suspect, and probably have already experienced yourself, she didn't even hear the message. She continued right back into her story. My immediate and last comment was, "I hope you have a wonderful life and sometime soon learn to see that you're choices are what you are attracting." Not waiting for a response, I quickly turned and left the restaurant.

As I sat in the car, I asked myself, how in the heck did I attract this energy? And in the ladies room of all places? I wasn't radiating anything negative, was I? The answer from the universe arrived immediately. It directed me towards my story that I wrote. When rereading, my attention was drawn to the number of "don'ts" in the article. They were every other sentence it seemed. Then I turned to other articles I had written at earlier in my notebook. The "don'ts" were many. Embarrassingly many.

Tracing my thoughts to when my energy had changed, I realized that it shifted when I started reading other people's ezines that I brought along. I saw it as clearly as the sun rising on this morning's horizon. All the don'ts that people were writing in order to try to sell their products or services. My energy level began to shift with the reading. It continued to spiral into my writing. Their attraction to the negative words moved into my use of negative words. How this and that was hard...finding the target market was hard...and the list went on.

This in turn created me to write in that same tone. My lesson -- be fully aware of what I was reading and its influence on my energy and my writing.

As I look back, I see patterns of where this occurred more than once. And as I continue to trace further, I also remember what I was reading.

If it wasn't for this experience, this negative encounter, I may not have seen this at all. I like to think I would have seen it anyway but in reality, probably not.

Yes, yes, yes. I do wish I had caught it earlier. But let's not go there, huh. That will zap the energy of this story for sure.

The point is, be glad negative people are being attracted to you. Be aware of their appearance. Ask what is radiating from you that attracted them. Be the fly zapper at a picnic and ask why your light was on that attracted the fly. See any patterns and quickly make any adjustments.

Rest assuredly, that when you are no longer radiating negative energy, you will not attract those negative experiences or people. I promise this to you based on experience.

I also always recommend that you share your experience, through writing, speaking engagements, or just with friends and family. There are three people waiting to listen and learn from the valuable lesson.

By Catherine Franz

Ten Tips For Setting (And Keeping) Life Changing Resolutions

It's time for that annual ritual of making (and breaking) our New Year's resolutions. There is something about the idea of being able to start over that motivates us to pause (at least briefly) and reflect on our lives as they are, as well as how we would like them to be. Yet how many times have you thought back to last year's goals and found that many or most of them were abandoned or just forgotten after a few weeks or months into the year?

Many of us have difficulty following through on our resolutions due to factors such as choosing unrealistic goals, not making them challenging enough and/or lacking the necessary motivation to stick with them. The following tips should help put you on the right course and assist you in staying committed to your most important goals for 2003.

Start with a life vision

If you don't know what you want your future to look like, how can you decide what areas of your life need to be worked on? Spend some quiet time TODAY reflecting on (and writing down) what is good, bad or incomplete. Then try to "see" your life if all of these areas were addressed and had become satisfactory to you.

Get organized

Clear away clutter. Go through paperwork, files, old bills and receipts, closets, drawers and storage containers. Decide what you need and will use and either throw out or give away all the rest. Put aside some time each week for this purpose. After you have cleaned out you can think about your existing systems for management and storage and see if these need reworking or just some fine-tuning. Keep ONE calendar to record all appointments, events, etc. Write down everything- don't rely on memory.

Expand your horizons and make a commitment to learning something new.

Challenging yourself will infuse you with greater energy and sense of purpose. It will help build your self-esteem to realize you really are capable of more than you had previously believed. This new learning can also give you additional resources to assist you in your career, personal or love life.

Set challenging but realistic resolutions

Choose goals that stretch your ability muscles, yet are realistic and therefore less vulnerable to failure. Don't respond to that negative inner voice that says; "oh, I'm not capable of that". Instead, focus on what you truly desire for your life and relationships and let this be your guide.

Write down your resolutions

Write them down and stick them on your bathroom mirror, your fridge, your car dashboard, your desk or wherever you know will be a good place for you to see them. You can also show them to a good friend, family member, your coach or anyone who could provide support and encouragement.

Create action steps for each resolution; write them down, and keep an accounting of your progress for each.

A resolution without planned action is doomed to failure. Break each goal down into small action steps or objectives. Putting a date for completion will help ensure you follow through. Come up with an accountability system that will work for you. Make sure you check off each accomplishment as you go and be flexible and willing to make adjustments in your action steps in order to achieve your desired end results.

Take care of yourself; eat well. Exercise regularly and learn to control and eliminate unhealthy stress.

I know this is an obvious one, so why is it often ignored or overlooked when we are attempting to make important life changes? How many times have you said, "I don't have the time" to eat right, exercise, sleep adequately, etc? Not caring for yourself will guarantee failure. So, why not make this your first and most important resolution for 2003?

Work to eliminate bad habits

Including this as a New Year's resolution would put you on the road to good follow-through. Bad habits will sabotage your efforts and use up your limited resources of time, energy and focus. For each bad habit you decide to eliminate, have a good habit in mind to replace it with.

Set appropriate and healthy limits in all areas of your life

Knowing your limits and enforcing them with yourself and others is a prerequisite to a healthy life and relationship. Learn to say "no" and "enough" and be firm in your resolve that this is a good thing to do. Otherwise, you will also be undermining your resolution to take care of yourself.

Work to be the kind of person you want to be with

Bringing out the best qualities in yourself will help to ensure that you attract people of good quality into your life. You wouldn't want to compromise on the standards you have set for a potential mate. Therefore, it's important to understand that this also holds true for other people in search of relationships.

Now begin this year with the resolve to be the person you know you have the potential to be. You'll be pleased with the wonderful changes that await you!

By Toni Coleman, MSW

Become a Babe Magnet Without Surgery or Drugs!

"I'd like to find a partner who dances. Do you?" my profile on Match.com asked. My now-husband Drew emailed that he was willing to take lessons, and that was enough for me. Non-dancer Drew's courage to put himself out on the dance floor and to show in lesson after lesson his amateur status was truly impressive. We took private dance instruction for a year before our wedding, and as a result, got around the dance floor quite gracefully at our reception.

Women are dying to dance. Any man who can ask a woman to dance, then take charge of what happens on the floor and move relatively smoothly to music, has enormous appeal. Fat or skinny, short, tall, or not even close to attractive, even old, old, old, a man who is comfortable on the dance floor has his pick of the ladies.

For whatever the reason, dancing intoxicates. Especially women.

Few men can really dance, and those guys are on the floor constantly. Some men think they can dance and do get up, ask the ladies, and have fun. But at least half the men sit or stand uncomfortably on the sidelines with all the women who wish to be on the dance floor.

We women don't get to dance nearly as much as we'd like to, even the ladies who are good dancers. There aren't enough dancing men to go around. You can almost feel the yearning, the sadness, and the disappointment in those women and between those non-dancing couples. And the non-dancing guys? Pathetic.

I personally know three women close to my age who met their now - spouses on the dance floor, and those ladies were great catches! Gentlemen and ladies, there's a message here.

Guys:

1. Take lessons and learn how to dance. Leading well takes skill, but if Drew could learn how, so can you.

2. Go to dances.

3. Ask women to dance. Lots of women. They'll love it. Even if you aren't so good, they'll appreciate your efforts.

Dance lessons themselves are good places to meet women, and most dance studios have regular parties for their students to practice what they have learned.

Ladies:

1. Take dancing lessons yourself and learn how to follow. Here I was, 50 years old, thinking I loved to dance, and I had no idea how to do the woman's part! Following takes skill! You have to figure out what your partner has in mind for you to do in a split second, and then actually do it, all while dancing backwards.

2. Buy yourself some real ballroom dancing shoes, maybe with high heels. Believe it or not, those shoes are comfortable. They have to be. Not only do they look very sexy, they stay on your feet!

3. Hang out at dances, too, if you like to dance. Single guys go to dances.

If you are connected to a dance studio, other single women will be at their parties as well as the studio instructors and male students, so you will know people. Dance parties are safe and comfortable for single women.

Guys -- nothing enhances as man's romantic marketability more than becoming a decent dancer. Learning to dance is cost efficient and relatively painless. No surgery or blood loss, no sweaty hours at the gym, no personality makeovers needed. Just dance lessons.

What's stopping you? Look up the dance studio nearest you and make that call! You'll become a dancing babe magnet!


By Kathryn Lord

To Be More Attractive? Zap The Tolerations!

Imagine there is an event that will take place in a town many miles from where you live.

Your car needs an oil change. But, your life schedule has been very full, allowing you little time to do anything about.

You decide that, to make your trip, you are willing to put up with the engine knocking-even, possibly, having the engine receive damage- because you are so focused on attending the event.

Sometimes, we are just like that. We have so many great goals and Dreams! We get so focused that we allow ourselves to run around with unmet needs, disturbances and tolerations.

Tolerations slow us down in our personal growth. They create 'frictions' in our relationships. They make us unable to enjoy the journey of reaching our goals. In plain simple English, tolerations can give us stress, cause conflicts in our most important relationships and, potentially, may create the feeling of exhaustion, discouragement, lack of confidence, pain and hurt.

You've got better things to do than to tolerate!

Zapping tolerations is a necessary habit to have if we wish to improve our quality of life. As we grow, we should progressively raise our standards to the creation of a toleration-free zone for our lives.

If you are a heavy coffee drinker, you rely on coffee to keep you awake and get you through the day with energy. If you suddenly stop drinking coffee, you may suffer in the short term. However, the withdrawal 'pain' may push you to look into the reasons why you lack energy and motivation at work. You may discover that the reasons are emotional, spiritual or physical. Then, depending upon your discovery, you can properly meet your needs by nourishing your areas of lack.

HELPFUL EXERCISES

1. Knowing what you are tolerating is the first step in the process of zapping your tolerations. Writing out all your tolerations can help you tremendously. Don't worry about how you will resolve the matters. Write them out, become conscious of them and put them in your prayers. You will see that solutions will come.

2. Look for 'pivotal tolerations.' These are tolerations that, once you find solutions for a single pivotal toleration, multiple tolerations get resolved. For example, the lack of physical exercise or eating frozen dinners/TV dinners 4 times a week may be big pivotal toleration. It could be pivotal for the resulting situations of obesity, lack of energy, restless sleep or insomnia, lack-luster hair, chronic pain, poor self-image, or other related symptoms. By exercising and eating well, you can help eliminate many or all of the other tolerations.

3. Healthy trees have healthy roots. Don't just handle the tolerations on the surface. Get to know the roots. Are you working on a job you dislike? Find out the roots of why you feel as you do. Are you not enjoying what you do because it doesn't allow you to bring into play your talents? Or, do you love what you do but you hate the politics you have to play?

Benefits of being Toleration-Free

1. You stop wasting your life trying to manage situations that shouldn't be there in the first place.

2. You become more aware of your choices and become better at making choices right for your life.

3. You have more energy to devote to your quality of life, working on the things that are truly important to you.

4. Your living is a model for family and friends.

By Helen Chen

Four Proven Techniques On How To Capture Positive Habits

Bad habits, we all have them. They keep us from accomplishing our dreams, make us say and do things that really aren't in our integrity.

Good habits allow us to transition through our day on autopilot. So much so, we forget that our good habits have a bigger strong hold.

Dr. Phil McGraw, TV-psychologist and Oprah offspring, says that we need to, "Behave our way to success." I cringe when I hear this, don't you? It sounds so easy. Yet, we both know it isn't.

Positive psychology, the scientific study of happy, confident people, presents many proven techniques that assist in transitioning bad habits into good habits. Here are four proven techniques:

1. In order to eliminate a bad habit, it must be overridden with a good habit. Not eliminated but replaced. When the good habit becomes stronger, it naturally takes over and folds into our life. Usually becoming transparent because it melts into our life and we have already uncovered the next one to work on.

It doesn't matter whether you want to replace the habit of lateness, cursing, or overeating. The habit's intensity determines the effort and time required to replace. Don't confuse effort with will power--they aren't the same.

Effort is making a variety of alternatives until the old habit melts into a new one. The right amount of effort will always be different for you than anyone else. There isn't an exact measurement because each of our unique qualities.

2. Discipline is an exercise of repetition. Not once or twice but until. Until completed.

For instance, writing isn't a natural talent. Yes, research shows that it helps to start the process young. Yet, there are female Pulitzer Prize winners who began writing in their fifties -- after family obligations. They replaced their family responsibilities with the discipline needed to be a successful writer. They disciplined their way to success.

Most people think positive thinkers naturally flow with confidence. Yet, positive psychology statistics dispel this myth. What's different is the amount of time and space they allow when negative habits or messages appear. They appear incandescent to them.

3. Rewards. As managing partner of a CPA firm for 15 years, I thought rewards meant bonuses and paid massages. After attending Coach University and intensifying my study in the Laws of Attraction, my perspective shifted. Positive people don't need an outside push; they seemingly have a natural internal push that continually pulls them forward. Sometimes labeled as determination or drive.

When Donald Trump appeared on the Oprah show in April, Oprah asked him, "I heard very successful people don't even see negative." Donald chewed on this for a few long television minutes and then responded, "Yes, that is why I hire others who can see what I can't.... Negative isn't on my radar screen."

4. Be assertive on what's fueling you, as diligent about all things in your realm, as the quality of food you digest, and the purity of the water you drink.

To create a garden of positive habits, surround yourself with flowers not figurative speaking either. Complete a regular inventory. See each item for its truth, intention, and influence. Don't wave it off as "not that big of a deal."

Remove negative people, negative television shows, movies, books, even conversations. If Mama, spouse, sister, or brother fits this description, explain its impact on your life. Don't blame, explain. Explain how it affects your success, your dreams. I'm sure they do what they do out of habit and not purposeful. If presented honestly and lovingly the people involved will see the gift.

An ideal choice is to use a positive clean-burning fuel. This begins with new words (language) to self and others. Each of us make choices every second. Get up, sit down, speak, listen, and so on. Make new choices, ones that fuel positive habits.

Take inventory on your environment and what you tolerate. What is broken, dented, stained? Fix, toss, give away, replace. Eliminate each ball and chain, one at a time, in baby steps. You will walk taller, talk and think clearer. You will attract more results that are positive into your life. Positive attracts positive--the Law of Attraction.

Fuel your surroundings with meaningful and beautiful things. That doesn't mean expensive. It can simply be a fresh rose on your desk every week and the stopping by the florist or your own garden.

Many habits tend to hide under the bed until dusted. Expect as you replace one, another can appear. Yes, they eventually become fewer. Stay focused and remember, "A rose isn't a rose without all its beautiful petals."

Be aggressive. When they appear, and they will, knock them down, toss them out with the trash. And quickly. Don't give them room to smell or grow. You'll soon discover each day will be lighter, brighter, and even more successful than the one before. I promise!

These four techniques, continually proven by hundreds of my workshop graduates, will work for you too. They will multiply your dreams and successes over night. Begin small, begin big, just begin, and keep the momentum going...until.


By Catherine Franz

Bad Luck ... Or Blessing In Disguise?

There was a woman who was in such a hurry to go to the airport.
She told the cab driver to step on it. She was so engrossed
with her own thoughts that she was not aware they were going
on a different route.

Suddenly, a man went inside the cab and took her handbag where
she placed her visa, passport, and all her money for the trip.

The driver, who was in cahoots with the robber, left her in the
middle of that dark street. She cursed the world for being so
mean to her, and she kept on thinking how unlucky she was to
be in that situation.

That very same night, she heard a shocking news. Tears flowed
down her face. Flight 230 has crashed! It was the plane where
she was supposed to board into. If she have not lost her
precious belongings, she could have lost something far more
important - her life!

Sometimes bad things really happen. We lost our money, failed
our exams, or get rejected by others. There are times when
nothing seems to go our way.

So what do we do about it? Are we going to be disappointed?
The answer is a resounding "No!" We must take all these
frustrations out of our chest and start all over again with
the consistent faith that we will get what we deserved.

So what if you failed the exams? Maybe you'd be more
successful and much happier in another field. You were
rejected by your boyfriend/ girlfriend? There are plenty
of others out there who are much better and who are much more
deserving of your love and affection.

Don't waste your time and energy on things that can't be
changed. Continuous worrying will only affect your health
on the long run, and you'd be doing much more damage than
what was previously done.

Set yourself free. Move onwards with the conviction of a
winner.

What if we turn the tables around? What if you never ran
out of good luck?

There was this man who won the lottery. He thought he was the
luckiest person in the world. He became greedy and wasted
all his money on everything he could get his hands on.

One day, he made it on the front page of the newspaper again.
But this time, it was a different story. He was killed
because of his riches.

If you attain good luck, never be too secure about it either.
Pray for protection and guidance. Life is so unpredictable. 
You just won't know what will happen next.

Live one day at a time. Sometimes we subject ourselves to
unneccesary mental and emotional torture. We ask ourselves,
"What if I don't get this done in time?" or "What if my
family leaves me and I've got no one else to turn to?"

Work at the present moment. Do what must be done at present
and the future will turn out just fine. Believe me. And
believe in yourself. As Captain Planet always says: "The
power is yours!"

By Michael Lee

Achieving Your Definite Major Purpose

(Excerpts From The Book)
Successercising
"The Science Of Success Achievement Course"
The Equivalent To A PhD In Success From The University Of Hard Knocks

In his all time best selling book, Think And Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill mentions in his first chapter that throughout the book he will be referring many times to "The Carnegie Secret." He said he would not tell you what that secret is, but when you are ready, it will jump off the page and into your brain. He said, "When the Student is ready - the master will appear." The doors will open - the lights will turn green - the ideas will come - the money will come - the people will be there to help you.

Since 1970 we have been teaching the principles of success that Andrew Carnegie commissioned Napoleon Hill to study and share with the world. Napoleon Hill spent his entire lifetime researching the most successful people of all times from around the world.

Many, many times in our classes, workshops, talks, rallies, and in our Master Mind Alliance Success Club meetings we have asked this question to those in our audience who had read the book Think and Grow Rich,

What is The Carnegie Secret that Napoleon Hill referred to in his book?

We got all kinds of guesses and some answers that were somewhat close.

Here is ------- The Carnegie Secret

1. Have a definite major purpose.

What is the most important thing you would like to accomplish in your lifetime? Try to define it in one paragraph, even if you have to keep rewriting it a hundred times until it gets as clear as possible. It has to be the most important thing in your life. Mahatma Gandhi's definite major purpose was to win independence for India from their British rulers. He succeeded. Dr. Martin Luther King's was equality and the end of oppression for black people. Doctor Jonas Salk's was to find the cure and end for polio. Thomas Edison's was the incandescent light bulb. What is yours?

If you don't currently have what you feel is a definite major purpose, then have a definite major purpose to find your definite major purpose.

It has to be something you want so bad that you think about it all of the time.

2. Be willing to stake your entire existence on achieving It.

Don't Quit. There Are Many Starters In Life, But Very Few Finishers - When The Going Gets Tough They Quit. A person with a definite major purpose never gives up - no matter how long and tough the road is; instead, they become more determined. Jack London was rejected over 600 times before he finally sold his first piece of writing. Thomas Edison actually failed over 9,999 times before he perfected the incandescent light bulb, and over 5,000 times before he perfected the world's first phonograph record player. There will be times when everything in you will tell you to quit - to stop trying, but if you hang in there, eventually, you will - you must succeed. Quitters never win and winners never quit.

Persistence is the power to hold on in spite of everything - to endure.

It's the ability to face defeat repeatedly without giving up-to push on even in the face of great difficulty or danger. Persistence means taking pains to overcome every obstacle, to do all that is necessary to reach your goals. You win, because you refuse to become discouraged by your defeats. Those who conquer are those who endure.

3. Keep intensifying your desire.

There are many "firemen" in life that will come along and try to put your fire of desire out. They will give you all kinds of reasons why your idea or goal won't work and tell you to give it up, forget it, or tell you "You can't do it." You have to become an Arsonist. An arsonist sets fires. Every morning when you wake up you have to re-light and re-build the intensity of your fire of desire. You have to eat it, sleep it, walk it, talk it, and concentrate on it until it becomes a red-hot flaming, burning, obsessional desire that will eventually mow down all of the opposition you will face throughout each day. If you don't, your Sizzle of desire will fizzle down to nothing. I'm not suggesting that you stop talking to or seeing your family and friends - what I'm saying is to keep focused day and night, seven days a week. This will bring into play: The law of harmonious attraction. Your burning desire becomes a magnet. You will attract that which you need; the ideas and plans, the money you need, and the people you need to help you. They will eventually gravitate toward your desire.

4. Have bulldog determination AND PERSEVERANCE That Will EventualLY Mow Down All Opposition.

Expect lots of problems, adversities, and discouragement along the way. Go around it - go over it - go under it - or dig a hole through it - but don't ever turn back. Make your Definite Major Purpose the dominating thought in your mind. It is a known fact that people who have had great achievement - formed the habit of making an "obsession" of their Definite Major Purpose. Andrew Carnegie said to put all of your eggs in one basket and then watch the basket. Andrew Carnegie's definite major purpose, which he wrote down at an early age and kept in his desk, was to earn as much money as he can in life and then, in the end, to set up the Carnegie Foundation to give it all away to worthy causes. Even after his death long ago, the Carnegie Foundation is still giving away millions every year to help mankind.

I have been teaching The Science of Success Achievement Course since 1970. There were many times when I taught the course to as many as ten different groups per week. Some in major hotels, some in large corporate training rooms, in the YMCA, in hundreds of real estate and insurance offices, in prisons, rehab centers, and for many sales and marketing groups of people.

In all of my classes, (There were ten separate 4-hour classes to the course,) I always told my students at the end of the first class - "For your homework this week, I want you to read the first four chapters of Think And Grow Rich (I always had stacks of the book there to sell them.) As you read each page, write a list of all of the things the author is telling you to do and the things he is telling you not to do. Then, I want you to carry that list with you every day and keep reviewing your list and keep doing the things the author told you to do. And then come back to the class #2 next week and tell the class about the list you made, what actions you took as a result of reading the book, and what results you got."

At the beginning of the class on the following week I would always start out by asking - By a show of hands, how many of you read the first four chapters of Think And Grow Rich? About 2% would raise their hands. The rest didn't take the time to read it. Then I would ask the 2% How many of you read the first four chapters and made the list I told you to make of all of the things the author told you to do? Usually about three hands went up. I asked each of them - How many items do you have on your list of the things the author told you to do? The first person said three. The second person said nine. The third person said - 90 items

I asked the person who had ninety on her list to come to the front of the classroom.

I said to the others - You people paid good money to take this course because you wanted to achieve greater success. How can you expect the results you hoped for if you aren't willing to take notes and to put in practice what you are learning?

Then I had the lady read from her list of 90 items. And the class was surprised at how powerful and important the things on her list were.

I asked the class - How many of you are speed reader? All kinds of hands went up. Then I told them about an incident when I was at a party and someone asked me what I do for a living. I told him that I teach a course based around the book Think And Grow Rich. He said, "That's a book that we teach from at our speed reading school." Then I asked him, "What were the greatest lessons you learned from the book?" He tried to think and then said, "I don't remember that book so well." I later found out that he was a speed-reading instructor. I thought to myself - There's a guy that can read 10,000 words a minute and remember nothing.

Think And Grow Rich is so powerful that it's the kind of book you have to read very slowly and carefully, many times until it becomes a part of your life and habits. I have been reading the book every year since 1970. Each year I pull it back off the shelf and let it fire me up for the achievement of my new goals for the year.

The End

By Rick Gettle